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In an age where most Hollywood films portray men as either hapless idiots or evil masterminds, you might be thinking “Ben! Are there any films for men out there?” Yes, is the answer to that. These are 5 films, in my opinion, that speak to men at a particularly emotional level, without presenting it in a patronising or feminising way. Sometimes subtle, other times obvious, these are films which every man must watch at some point in his life.
1. Into the Wild (2007)
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“Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
‘Into the Wild’ knocked me for six when I saw it, the tears flowed like a river down my cheeks and the story of Christopher McCandless’ (played by Emile Hirsch) journey from suburbia to the wilds of Alaska left an indelible mark. Based on true life events, McCandless, a graduate of Emory University, who left his old life behind in search of adventure and material simplicity, sadly perishing in the middle of Stampede Trail aged 24. It’s a film which cemented Sean Penn as an exceptional writer/director.
Christopher’s death was a lonely, painful and tragic one, I’m not going to romanticise it as some do. The film itself certainly does not do that either, McCandless’ demise is portrayed as a simple and unfortunate act, mistakenly consuming poisoned seeds and dying from rapid starvation due to the toxin swainsonine.
So, why is this film on the list, well McCandless’ dilema, that is pressure to succeed, to become part of a society that won’t appreciate you is one that many men go through at some point in their life. McCandless’ antidote to it was extreme and cost him his life. However, what I got from this film, and indeed McCandless life story, is that sometimes, it’s needed for a man to go to an extreme to appreciate and make sense of life. At the very end of the film, we see a note written by McCandless “Happiness only real when shared” said to be inspired by a line from Boris Pasternak’s Dr Zhivago. To me this was McCandless’ final realisation that we are social creatures, and need companions to enjoy life, be they friends, family or lovers.
2. Prince Avalanche (2013)
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“There’s a difference between being lonely and being alone.”
The endearing ‘Prince Avalanche’ I discovered quite by chance one Saturday night, when browsing through Netflix. Essentially it’s a great friendship film, with the majority of time spent in the company of Alvin (Paul Rudd) and Lance (Emile Hirsch) two men whose job it is to repaint the roads in the Texan countryside. Like ‘Into the Wild’ solitude plays a major role in the narrative. Alvin is a contemplative and sensitive soul whilst the younger Lance is filled with a youthful rebellion, yet noticeably insecure.
Alvin is the husband of Lance’ sister, and his reason for doing this mundane job is to provide for his wife, Lance, who only got the job thanks to Alvin, sees it in a very black and white way, it’s boring and repetitive. Alvin on the other hand, sees the benefits of working so close to nature, and the freedom to better himself by reading and learning German.
Immediately you can see these two are polar opposites, yet as the film unfolds, the pair begin to learn from each other, and slowly but surely a friendship develops. When Alvin discovers his wife has left him things erupt, with some harsh home truths being exchanged, which had been building for some time. After these ructions Alvin and Lance tentatively form an alliance, which blossoms into a steadfast bond.
‘Prince Avalanche’ is a film of humanity and simplicity. The interactions between Alvin and Lance were sublimely acted by Rudd and Hirsch, you steadily become enthralled with this little episode of their life.
If ‘Into the Wild’ was about realising we need company to make our lives happy, ‘Prince Avalanche’ is about realising a bit of light solitude now and again is a very healthy thing.
3. A Separation (2011)
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“Does he even know he’s your son? / I know, I know he’s my father.”
As a screenwriter Asghar Farhadi possesses an aesthetic lyricism that is typically Persian, coupled with that he has mastered the art of writing deeply yet structuring it with simplicity. ‘A Separation’ is his masterpiece. The story of a couple – Nader (Peyman Moaadi) and Simin (Leila Hatami) who want to get a divorce.
The pressures of juggling duties with little money and time not on your side is the premise of ‘A Separation’, relationships become fraught and it’s on Nader’s shoulders that most trouble falls. His wife Leila wants to leave Iran to start a new life in the U.S, but Nader has strong loyalties to his ailing father who is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, and continues to halt any divorce proceedings.
Nader has to navigate the situation with his wife, his father and his teenage daughter, he is strong and capable, but he’s also vulnerable, and at times things become too much for him. The weight of duty causes unnecessary friction, which in-turn ignites a fire of upset, and it’s Nader’s innate perspicacity that leads him from stormy seas to relative calm.
‘A Seperation’ is a simple set-up, stylistically it’s muted, every inch a film of Neorealism, in the vein of Roberto Rossellini et al, and it’s emotional content is rich with tremendous depth. It’s specific look at the strenuous situation of relationship breakdowns is perfect.
4. Inside Llewyn Davis (2014)
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“I’m tired. I thought I just needed a night’s sleep but it’s more than that.”
‘Inside Llewyn Davis’ is a film I’ve written about before. It’s impact was a pretty intense mix of reflection and pondering, mainly over my own life choices, which like Llewyn Davis is in the creative field. It’s one of the Coen Brothers most solid films with layered characters, with much of their previous films including protagonists who are rather unlikeable.
Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac) is a determined man, desperately wanting to succeed in realising his dream of being a folk musician. As for most of us, recognition is slow to come, with life being a general bitch and circumstances not going his way. Davis is a meditative and studious character, a lot of the time he relies on his wits and utilises his strengths the best he can.
The appeal of ‘Inside Llewyn Davis’ for men is that it’s about witnessing a another man’s attempts to make his dreams and desires a reality, the fact that Davis fails is by no means schadenfreude from the viewers perspective, it’s just a sad reality that countless thousands of us have or will have to come to terms with at some juncture. You desperately want Davis to succeed, but have to concede to the outcome just as he does.
5. The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
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“Rudeness is merely an expression of fear. People fear they won’t get what they want. The most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved, and they will open up like a flower.”
You could be fooled into thinking that ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’ is a flight of fancy, with it’s kaleidoscope of primary colours and ostentatious decoration, but thanks to the genius of Wes Anderson, beneath the chocolate box exterior and elements of French farce, there’s a distinct tale of male bonding here.
It’s sometimes the case that comedy can give us more depth of feeling than drama ever could. The relationship which develops between the films protagonist Monsieur Gustave (Ralph Fiennes) an eccentric man in every sense of the word, but with a heart of gold, and his young bell boy Zero Moustafa (Tony Revolori) is a brilliant constant amongst all the chaos.
It’s quite rare today that we see two male characters, one young, one old, develop this type of bond, something which fell out of favour in American cinema some years ago. Its re-exploration by Anderson is refreshing, to look at it in a deeper sense, it confirms that young men get a better understanding of the world when they have an older male role model to guide them.
There’s a reason why Wes Anderson enjoys such great affection from cinema fans and ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’ explains that.